I'm sitting here, having had a 21 hour day for work yesterday and worked until 6:30 tonight, thinking, "I'm trapped. I'm a creative wanna be stay-at-homer (no I don't have any kids, so what?) trapped in a corporate world."
I like my job - I do. The industry is great, I get to work for home, what more could I ask? But when I turn my head ever so slightly to the left while sitting at my desk, I see that amazing craft closet I have created.... ok, ok, hubs helped me a bit with the putting together of the shelves and whatnot (details, details)... I just want to go pull out all those beautiful colored and patterned papers and put down all the memories we've ever had in a perfectly detailed book, make birthday cards months in advance for friends, create adorable little tags for Christmas presents, crochet the cutest little bonnets you've ever seen in your life for every little girl I know (and don't know yet) aaaand finally actually figure out how in the world to do more than just the basic stitch in knitting.
Yes, that's what I want to do. Why don't I? I'm exhausted. Yeah, yeah, I hear you... "but you're too young to be tired", "just wait until you have kids - then you'll know tired", etc. etc. etc. yada yada yada. No, I don't know that stuff yet, but you know what, I'm still tired! And looking at the "project plan" for the rest of the year for work... lawd, that makes me even more tired just thinking about it. Not to mention the mess that is my apartment that I should probably be cleaning as we speak rather than sitting here drinking this glass of wine and blogging. But I digress...
So, folks, I guess all I'm really trying to say is that I feel trapped. I have this creative, homey, side of me that is just bursting to come out and say hello to the world alot more often... yet, instead, it is stuck sitting at the computer, having to do corporatey professional things that just suck the life out of any creativity. I mean, it's not all bad, I suppose... it pays the bills, right?
And I do like my job...
...just wish it involved more colors, glitter, and yarn...
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I know what you mean. I do stay at home w/my girls and am very creative, more on the music/writing side of things, however, and I feel trapped sometimes. Trapped because I don't often get to let that creative side flow as often as I would like....the hubs, kiddos, and home come first. But, I have tried recently to start making more time for it. Otherwise, I might just go bananas. So, I started writing a book, and along with a friend, started a band. I am exhausted a lot of the time, but making time for the creative side of me sure does make me feel A LOT better. I think it makes me better for my husband and my girls.
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